perhaps the people you hold closest aren’t all that close at all.
next year :)
I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, then all at once.
i like my body when it is with your
body. It is so quite new a thing.
Muscles better and nerves more.
i like your body. i like what it does,
i like its hows. i like to feel the spine
of your body and its bones, and the trembling
-firm-smooth ness and which i will
again and again and again
kiss, i like kissing this and that of you,
i like, slowly stroking the, shocking fuzz
of your electric fur, and what-is-it comes
over parting flesh … And eyes big love-crumbs,
and possibly i like the thrill
of under me you so quite new
i never wanted to write this post, i guess i was in denial about how ignorant some people can be. but since entering my first real relationship with a girl and being totally open and honest with everyone about it, i’ve had to face some trying conversations. here are only a few;
"oh i had no idea you liked girls!" - umm, then clearly i don’t feel comfortable enough/close enough to you to have that discussion. and also, my sexuality is a tiny little piece of who i am, so i’m hardly going to be all, oh hi i’m frankie, i like boys and girls, nice to meet you. but i’ll make sure you get the memo next time.
"you don’t look like you like girls." - i’ll make a sign, next time.
"oh you kept that quiet, why didn’t you tell me?" - because you’re not my friend. harsh, but true.
"so like, top or bottom?" - so like, as if i’m going to discuss it with you.
"scissoring?" - so you’re a virgin?
"i mean, sometimes you can have a better relationship with a woman." - tell me more, 40 year old straight woman.
"so does that mean you’re gay now?" - no, i’m still bisexual. i don’t need to sleep with both genders to justify it.
"won’t you miss guys though?" - like a hole in the head. seriously though, i’m super monogamous so this isn’t an issue :)
the one thing that gets me most of all though are the chinese whispers.
"so me and X were talking about you the other day, we’re all just so surprised!" - i’m just astounded that my relationship and sexuality seem to be so interesting to you, you must be really bored.
i am a super private person and i’ve received this unwanted attention that i will be glad to see the back of. i only deal with it because she’s worth every ignorant comment, every obnoxious asshole, every gossip monger out there and then some. now, you can all get back to your mundane lives and let me get back to mines.
when straight girls assume that because you’re bisexual, you fancy them and every other women alive. negative. and you’re not hot.
So this post was inspired by something someone quite dear to me wrote and I felt like I needed to write something in a similar vein. Something that I can put out there to put ignorance out of it’s misery.
Being bisexual isn’t particularly easy for genuinely bisexual people. I’m not talking those girls who kiss other girls in clubs to get guys hot, I’m talking people who are genuinely attracted to and fall in love with both genders. I know that most people with same-sex predilections have to face struggle in one way or another throughout their lives, but in my opinion bisexual people get a particularly raw end of the stick, from both sides of the scale. Here are just some of the ignorant lines I’ve had in the past.
"Bisexual people are greedy" - Is that so? Are you aware that sexuality isn’t a choice? Bisexual people are just as monogamous as the rest of the human race, and it certainly doesn’t mean we sleep with more people than gay or straight folks.
"Isn’t bisexuality just a middle-ground for some people who don’t want to come out as gay?" - No, it isn’t. It’s a real thing. Sure, some gay people think that it might be easier to come out as bisexual first, and many do, but I for one am 100% certain my sexuality won’t change. Same goes for other bi people.
"Bisexual people are promiscuous deviants." - Again, untrue. I genuinely think there’s one bi girl out there that’s fucking everything that moves and giving us lot a bad name. We don’t need constant sex, we don’t need both genders simultaneously and we won’t sleep with your girlfriend. Often. Just because we technically have more options for sexual partners doesn’t mean we are more promiscuous.
"I would never date a bisexual girl, she’d probably leave me for a guy." - Jesus, how many times do I have to tell you that we’re just like the rest of the human race? Lesbians can cheat too, if someone is going to cheat on your ass, who it is with is absolutely irrelevant, drop that bitch.
"Bisexuals are just indecisive and confused." - Trust me sweetheart, bisexual people know exactly what they want, the only one confused here is you.
"Uch, you’re just doing it to be cool." - I got this line more when I was younger. Again, it ties in with the idea that girls kiss other girls to make guys hot and bothered. I, like many other millions of people, struggled terribly with my sexuality internally for years. This wasn’t something I took flippantly, nor was it a joke, so looking ‘cool’ was the least of my worries.
"Oh you’re bisexual? Fancy a threesome?" - In what universe would I ever want to sleep with you and your boyfriend/husband to remedy your failing relationship? And when you tell men you have a girlfriend, they think it’s okay to just invite themselves into your bed? Do not flatter yourself. Bisexual people can be fiercely monogamous too, I’m certainly one of them, therefore don’t appreciate these unwanted invitations from uncouth lager louts.
And one final point that was brought up by someone else. Surely when I decided to settle down with someone, male or female, then I’ve made a choice to be straight or gay? No, I will eternally be bisexual, I don’t need to sleep with both genders simultaneously to justify it.